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Tag: love

Happy Birthday Lil’ Miz Daixy…..

Right. Getting down to brass tacks.
Iz Mai Berfdai!!!
I’m growing old. it’s as simple as that lol. For every year that’s tacked on, I’m reminded that I’m no longer nineteen. I was so happy at nineteen. As Ray Charles would say, “It was a very good year”. I had just started uni and discovered that once again, I was the “Americano in town” and I had the time of my life shocking people who would gossip in twi about me and the tomboyish way I dressed. It was, and still is wonderful to see their faces when I call up someone on the phone and start speaking fante LOL. Oooh and I discovered Asian Cooking back then and boy, did my kitchen smell good that year?!
But I do realise that there’s much I appreciate in the years after that. I’ve done and learned a lot and most importantly, I’m on the road to self discovery and happiness. I’ve no doubt of that. Me and the boyfriend celebrated our one year anniversary 🙂 Oh and I picked up Guitar….I’ve gone back to the kitchen….and even better, I’ve made wonderful new friends who care enough to start calling before midnight to wish me a happy birthday lol. Thanks guys….Now I’m wide awake rofl.

I didn’t know I’d make it this far and I have to thank God for getting me here. I’ve been wandering about blindly and yet I’ve not done half bad methinks. I guess the big wish for my candle this year is that I discover what it is I am meant to do. I know, I know, I’m always demanding something from you but you’re like, GOD! Who else am I going to make wild demands to? lol.

I just wanna give a birthday holla @ the peeps who are blessed enough to share my special day:
Fr. Edmund Neizer (formerly of St. Kizito’s Catholic Church)
Mrs. Ewuley (Christ the King International School- She taught me in 4th year)
Donald Griffith (Who probably doesn’t remember me ROFL)
Barry White (I love you man! Your music will live on!!!!)
Yao Ming (One of these days, me and you have to shack up. Dunno how I’ll explain the half co baby but I thank God for the Portuguese blood in my BF lol) {Did I mention my mom is fascinated by you? She says she won’t mind having you for a son in law)
Jennifer Hudson (My voice is nowhere near as strong as yours is, but I can’t wait for the day me and you get to belt out a couple of songs @ the BET awards)
Reuben Studdard (You’re a lucky man to share my spotlight lol and YES I’m that vain).
September (I adore Cry For you!!! And I hate that you’ve chosen the stage name I woulda picked rofl)
Paul Walker (I have to admit that you’re drool worthy. Not like Barry, but drool worthy nonetheless)
So yeah, Happy birthday y’all and remember to have a good one. Barry, remember to put in a word for me to the Big Guy. Oh and see if he can’t make me 19 again? 😉 Oh and I hope you, Marvin, Teddy, Raye and Luther aren’t giving Michael a hard time. The six of you would be AMAZING together.
So yeah, today, I’m gonna eat and drink enough for all of us (Fruit Juice). Umm..I figure I’ll drink 1/8th of what Yao would. He’s got a bigger tank than I do. Oh and this year I’m not gonna try to call him up so I can scream, “Yao! I want to have your giant babies!” I think I’ll send him an email instead 😉 Just in case Nanasei is reading this, NO, there will be no milkshakes. Just smoothies 😉 And pardon the randomness but did warn you (check out my profile and get used to it).
Much Love,
PS. @ the boyfriend….Arigatou Gozaimashita mai koibito. Aishiteru!

When life is just too hard to deal with: Myths debunked

“Ghanaians don’t get depressed,”  This comment had me laughing early last week.  “it’s americans like you who flip out over everything.”   
First of all, I am very much a Ghanaian.  I simply open myself up to other cultures 😛 
Second, just cuz I’ve had a very interesting past and it’s scarred me a bit doesn’t mean I’m mentally unsound.  Why should it take a crazy person to think about steps to prevent suicide? I find it odd that the second I try to talk about rape, abuse, suicide or depression, it becomes a game of driving nails into dry concrete with me bare fingers!
Third, dealing with my issues shouldn’t stop me from facing up to reality and saying, I want to do something about this.  Doesn’t have to stop me from starting whatever movement I want or lobbying my local MP or regional health director for infrastructure I believe should be in place. And now that that rant is over, I can get down to the business off the day.
What I’d like to do today is debunk a few myths about self harm and suicide.  I can’t cover them all and I’m not going to explain what they are.  Links below should be sufficient methinks….
Suicide rates per 100,000 peopleImage via Wikipedia 
Myth:  Suicides don’t occur in Ghana.
Fact:  Suicide occurs all over the world. In fact, it is the 10th leading cause of death globally. Over a million people commit suicide every year all over the world.  Sadly, no one seems to be collecting data on suicide in Ghana and most of Africa.  We do not as yet have the necessary systems in place for reporting and recording of suicide attempts and successes. The map above is as accurate as the WHO can make it.  Without actual data, there is nothing they or any other organisation can do.
To save face, families in Ghana bribe police officers and medical practitioners into changing the cause of death.  This is most especially so when they are christian.  As such, the police and hospitals here very rarely report such cases.
Myth: People hurt themselves or attempt suicide for attention.
Fact: Au contraire. People who self harm are simply trying to feel, something anything. They usually are detached from this world and feel they are alone, unloved, repressed. Cutting, burning, they turn to pain as they cannot feel happiness, love. Other times, they are punishing themselves for some crime they perceive they committed.  A lot of people suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) will do this. Quite often they have suffered physical or sexual abuse and are unable to deal with the psychological fallout.  The result therefore is a need to externalize the pain, to “make it real.”
Myth: People who talk about suicide are looking for attention.
Fact: People who talk about suicide are reaching out for help. They’ve thought about it and are scared that they’ll actually go through with it.
Myth:  If you’re depressed, just make yourself happy.  Snap out of it.
Fact:  If it was that easy, your friend, family member, colleague wouldn’t have the cuts, burns and bruises they do, and most importantly?  They wouldn’t be thinking of ending it.
Myth:  Suicide occurs without warming.

Fact:  Usually, suicide victims will leave some sort of clue as to what they intend to do.  There is always some verbal or behavioural hint. Most often though, these clues are ignored or not taken seriously.

Myth:  Asking someone if they are thinkingof suicide will plant the idea in their head.
Fact: Talking about suicide will NOT give a person who is not considering it ideas.  If you feel the need to ask someone this question, then most likely they’ve left clues that led you to that conclusion.  Asking them will not make them go out and do it. A lot of suicidal persons will be relieved to have someone ask them about it.  It’s a huge burden to bear by oneself and someone who has been struggling with the urge and wants a friend to talk to will actually be grateful for the opportunity to share some of their fears.
Myth:  Once a person has attempted suicide, he or she will never try it again.
Fact: If your friend or loved one has made the attempt before, please keep an eye out, especially when they are under stressful conditions.  People who make attempts and fail are most likely  to come up with a different plan of action, with the sole aim of actually going through with it.  Perhaps the last time you were lucky enough to grab him before he ran under a bus.  Well next time, perhaps your friend would have researched on the number of pills he needs to swallow and would have made sure to lock his door.
Please do not treat any threat of suicide lightly.  If you suspect someone of having suicidal thoughts, talk to them. Find out if they have a definite plan. Someone who has gone so far as to set out a plan (or several plans) has had a lot of time to prepare and could take action at any minute. Try to get them to talk about their problems and see if you can get them to go see a counselor. Look for signs of self harm. Usual suspects are long sleeves (even in hot weather) to hide ligatures on the arms and a reluctance to dress in shorts/skirts. When your friend, daughter, colleague suddenly changes their style of dressing to cover up, it’s usually a sure sign of distress.
Sources and links:

Self Harm
Self harm on the BBC


When Life is too hard to deal with: To Write Love On Her Arms

To Write Love On Her ArmsImage by ninniane via Flickr
So, I was going to write one big piece for this week as suicide prevention day is coming up, but it just made me sad, depressed and frankly, I entered a dark place. I decided instead to provide links to info I think the world should read and give the little extra that I feel should be stressed on. Addiction, Depression, Self Harm and Suicide are topics that truly matter to me, right up there with abuse. I consider addiction, self harm and suicide to be abuse, not only of oneself, but of the people around you.   They do far more harm than we expect, scarring the lives of millions of people each year.
To Write Love on Her ArmsImage via Wikipedia
I want to introduce you guys to TWLOHA (To Write Love on Her Arms).  It’s a movement dedicated to the above.  TWLOHA has been raising awareness about addiction, depression, self harm and suicide since 2006.  They link people to hotlines and rehab centres close by and they offer real life stories from real life victims.  TWLOHA is all about showing people that they are not alone, that they are loved, and that life is so worth living right.  Feel free to visit their site and read their blog. The only problem I have with TWLOHA is that it’s transitioned from a movement into a fad.  Everyone is writing love, but not everyone knows why.  I think we should all know the reasons why we do what we do.  I missed TWLOHA day this year (was in febuary), I think the decision was made to randomise it so it’s not treated like christmas, where people think about it only at that time of the year.
For those of you out there who are feeling lost and all alone, who think constantly of suicide, who hurt yourselves:  remember, don’t pick up that razor, don’t slice up that wrist.  Instead, write “Love” on your arms. 
I write love on my arms.  Hopefully, you will too…..


I am
A broken record
You’ve coaxed out all I have to offer
Played me one too many times
I am
Abused, ruined
Condemned to suffer
Victim of your elaborate crimes
I am
A fallen star
Landed in your gutter
I sparkled once!  Now I’m covered in grime
I am
Your broken record
You’ve pried out what I have to offer…
For the very last time

Not What I Seem

Image source:

Do you know, I am the flame to your moth and you draw closer to your own destruction? Innocent I may seem but I am a Bonfire, not the timid match flare you think me to be. You may not know it, but my light; intoxicating, alluring, sensual as it is; will be your poison of choice.


Attempt suicide.