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Tag: haphazard thoughts of a parasomniac

Chotto Kawaiiii

Child held in a car seat by a five point harnessImage via Wikipedia

Driving out with dad today, I was busy running my mouth off when I heard a little voice calling, “bye bye…”  Looking up at the SUV next to me, I noticed the little tyke waving at me from the passenger window.  Forgetting the point I was making to my dad, I found myself turning into a squealing baby lover.  “Aaaaaw aren’t you cuuuuuute!  Buh Bye……”  Complete with giant smile and waves. It’s this quarter life crisis I tell you!  I can’t resist cute and adorable children!!!!!

And then I spent most of the rest of the drive gushing to dad about how cute the little boy was and how when I have kids I’d want them to be as sweet as that one.  It wasn’t until later that I realised,

  • He was in the front seat
  • On his mother’s lap
  • He wasn’t in a car seat!!!
  • His mother didn’t smile at me (maybe she doesn’t like people complimenting her son and refusing to compliment her :P) 
  • I want one of my own!!! Not in the distant future, or next year, or tomorrow….I want one NOW!  The boyfriend better get to work fast lol.

I got nothing but mad rambling today.  Sorry…….I’m going to give myself a good work out and get off this happy high lol
~Daixy~

    Up to here……

    Image via Wikipedia

    I wish that I didn’t have to feel
    For numbness to mask the pain
    That I had space to heal
    And didn’t have to see your cheating face again

    I wish you’d just leave me be
    To live my life in peace
    Must you keep tabs on me
    Ensure that I’m still down on my knees?

    Don’t you think you’ve done enough
    To tear my world apart
    To shatter dreams of my gullible youth
    And trample on my oh so fragile heart?

    I’m sick and tired of crying
    Of wondering what I did wrong
    Even though I realise that you were a lying
    Cheating Ass all along!

    Congratulations!
    You almost broke my spirit
    But you really should cease your jubilations,
    You see, because I’ve finally hit my limit

    So I’ll say this one last time
    I’ve had enough of you
    And I’ll get over your insidious crime
    If it’s the last thing I do

    Quit trying to check out my facebook
    And calling me up on the phone
    Don’t come over to give me that puppy dog look
    And for goodness sakes, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!

    ~Daixy~

    When life is just too hard to deal with: Myths debunked

    “Ghanaians don’t get depressed,”  This comment had me laughing early last week.  “it’s americans like you who flip out over everything.”   
    First of all, I am very much a Ghanaian.  I simply open myself up to other cultures 😛 
    Second, just cuz I’ve had a very interesting past and it’s scarred me a bit doesn’t mean I’m mentally unsound.  Why should it take a crazy person to think about steps to prevent suicide? I find it odd that the second I try to talk about rape, abuse, suicide or depression, it becomes a game of driving nails into dry concrete with me bare fingers!
    Third, dealing with my issues shouldn’t stop me from facing up to reality and saying, I want to do something about this.  Doesn’t have to stop me from starting whatever movement I want or lobbying my local MP or regional health director for infrastructure I believe should be in place. And now that that rant is over, I can get down to the business off the day.
    What I’d like to do today is debunk a few myths about self harm and suicide.  I can’t cover them all and I’m not going to explain what they are.  Links below should be sufficient methinks….
    Suicide rates per 100,000 peopleImage via Wikipedia 
    Myth:  Suicides don’t occur in Ghana.
    Fact:  Suicide occurs all over the world. In fact, it is the 10th leading cause of death globally. Over a million people commit suicide every year all over the world.  Sadly, no one seems to be collecting data on suicide in Ghana and most of Africa.  We do not as yet have the necessary systems in place for reporting and recording of suicide attempts and successes. The map above is as accurate as the WHO can make it.  Without actual data, there is nothing they or any other organisation can do.
    To save face, families in Ghana bribe police officers and medical practitioners into changing the cause of death.  This is most especially so when they are christian.  As such, the police and hospitals here very rarely report such cases.
    Myth: People hurt themselves or attempt suicide for attention.
    Fact: Au contraire. People who self harm are simply trying to feel, something anything. They usually are detached from this world and feel they are alone, unloved, repressed. Cutting, burning, they turn to pain as they cannot feel happiness, love. Other times, they are punishing themselves for some crime they perceive they committed.  A lot of people suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) will do this. Quite often they have suffered physical or sexual abuse and are unable to deal with the psychological fallout.  The result therefore is a need to externalize the pain, to “make it real.”
    Myth: People who talk about suicide are looking for attention.
    Fact: People who talk about suicide are reaching out for help. They’ve thought about it and are scared that they’ll actually go through with it.
    Myth:  If you’re depressed, just make yourself happy.  Snap out of it.
    Fact:  If it was that easy, your friend, family member, colleague wouldn’t have the cuts, burns and bruises they do, and most importantly?  They wouldn’t be thinking of ending it.
    Myth:  Suicide occurs without warming.

    Fact:  Usually, suicide victims will leave some sort of clue as to what they intend to do.  There is always some verbal or behavioural hint. Most often though, these clues are ignored or not taken seriously.

    Myth:  Asking someone if they are thinkingof suicide will plant the idea in their head.
    Fact: Talking about suicide will NOT give a person who is not considering it ideas.  If you feel the need to ask someone this question, then most likely they’ve left clues that led you to that conclusion.  Asking them will not make them go out and do it. A lot of suicidal persons will be relieved to have someone ask them about it.  It’s a huge burden to bear by oneself and someone who has been struggling with the urge and wants a friend to talk to will actually be grateful for the opportunity to share some of their fears.
    Myth:  Once a person has attempted suicide, he or she will never try it again.
    Fact: If your friend or loved one has made the attempt before, please keep an eye out, especially when they are under stressful conditions.  People who make attempts and fail are most likely  to come up with a different plan of action, with the sole aim of actually going through with it.  Perhaps the last time you were lucky enough to grab him before he ran under a bus.  Well next time, perhaps your friend would have researched on the number of pills he needs to swallow and would have made sure to lock his door.
    Please do not treat any threat of suicide lightly.  If you suspect someone of having suicidal thoughts, talk to them. Find out if they have a definite plan. Someone who has gone so far as to set out a plan (or several plans) has had a lot of time to prepare and could take action at any minute. Try to get them to talk about their problems and see if you can get them to go see a counselor. Look for signs of self harm. Usual suspects are long sleeves (even in hot weather) to hide ligatures on the arms and a reluctance to dress in shorts/skirts. When your friend, daughter, colleague suddenly changes their style of dressing to cover up, it’s usually a sure sign of distress.
    Sources and links:

    Self Harm
    Self harm on the BBC

    ~Daixy~

    Random event on the road in Accra……..

    Timeline: Yesterday

    Red, yellow and green (unlit) LEDs used in a t...Image via Wikipedia 

    Venue: 37 Military hospital traffic light.

    “That monster hates my guts!!” Always has! Like, this bad old monster waited till it was my turn to move through the stand-still traffic to turn it’s angry red glare on me!!!  (Like it always does!!!) Anywho, so I’m on my way to work and the light stops me, and there’s this trotro in the lane next to me who overshot the light by like a metre. I’ll tell you why I’m mentioning that in a minute.So I’m grumbling and cussing at the light when this guy comes up to my window and asks me to buy some of his grapes.  They are big and juicy looking but I’m not carrying any loose change and don’t feel like waiting for him to try and change a big note but I digress.

    This young grape seller (did I mention that he looked HAWT?  He shouldn’t be selling by the roadside)  he begins lambasting this woman in the backseat of the trotro.  Apparently she dropped a used “pure water” sachet out the window and into the street.  The woman ignores said young man and rolls her eyes.  The young man keeps complaining then bends over to pick up the bag.  It’s what he does next that’s got me grinning even now.  Just as the light turned green, he shoved the bag through the woman’s window and into the trotro!

    It is so refreshing to see that people still care about the environment.

    Or is it because the AMA holds the street hawkers to task when the area is filthy, hmm?  LOL

    ~Daixy~

    Music

    Ghana's 50th Independence Anniversary national...Image by nova3web via Flickr

    My voice; the anthem

    To which your body must rise
    Erect, rigid; in token salute.
    Acquaint yourself with the quake
    From your powerful thighs
    For I intend to play all day

    ~Daixy~ 

    Seems this is a naughty week for me.   I know I’m leaving myself open but here it is.  I have no idea what’s gotten into me 😛 but I’m using this as continuation to Chemistry.  Class is in session 😉

    Broken…..

    I am
    A broken record
    You’ve coaxed out all I have to offer
    Played me one too many times
    I am
    Abused, ruined
    Condemned to suffer
    Victim of your elaborate crimes
    I am
    A fallen star
    Landed in your gutter
    I sparkled once!  Now I’m covered in grime
    I am
    Your broken record
    You’ve pried out what I have to offer…
    For the very last time
    ~Daixy~

    The Skin I’m in…..

    Sweet like chocolate
    Smooth as silk
    Dark like coffee
    Skimped on the milk
    Redolent of a lotus field
    And blessed with a mellifluous tongue,
    I Am Regal, African, Mother,
    Proud 
     A true gift of the gods.
    Now, is it any wonder that I refuse to yield?
    ~Daixy~

    Dunno why I was up at 2am but at least I got something out of it.  I know I’m a pseudo feminist and African but does anything stop me from displaying my roots? 😛  Ghanaian girls, please don’t shoot me for picking a pic of a Nigerian model.  I beg oh! 

    Too much Anime: Dreaming of Ninjas on Motorcycles

    It’s very rare that I dream.  My nights are often spent working or writing/reading, maybe fooling around with my japanese lessons.  (Anata wa genki desu ka?)  Anywho, I stay up all night doing whatever I feel like till I pass out from exhaustion and then, I sleep so deep that I do not recall anything that I may have dreamed. If I’d dreamed….

    One night (I can’t remember when) I awoke to the remnants of a dream and was so amazed by the sheer stupidity of it that I haven’t ever managed to get it out of my mind.
    I was walking down the Legon-Atomic road, late at night.  I remember I was on the left side of the road so Presec was across the street from me.  This dream placed me on the road before construction had began on it.  You know, when there were tall enough grasses for the purse snatchers and escaped mental patients to hide in.
    So I was walking down the road, see? (I hope the peeps from Brooklyn don’t “feed me to the fishes” for this lol) Minding my own business like everybody else that’s nutts enough to walk out alone at night, when I noticed a light in the distance. After a few seconds standing there like an idiot and watching the light come closer and closer, I realised it was a motorcycle.  What struck me as strange was the fact that, well, it had a NINJA on it!!!

    Yes, people, a ninja.  With full face mask, hitate, katana and all. Fascinated, I stood there while the bike came to a stop right next to me and the ninja swiped out his katana, pointed it at me, and said “Give me your purse”.  Like any sensible human faced with a ninja on a motorcycle, I gulped and handed over my handbag.  I even went farther to hand over my earrings! 😮
    Now get this.  The ninja grabbed his loot, hopped off the bike and ran giggling into the bush to check on his spoils.  Like wtf?  A giggling ninja?  A stupid ninja?  (Gosh but I have stupid dreams….)
    ‘So,’ one would ask, ‘what did Lil’ Miz Daixy do?”  Why, what any rational woman would do in such a situation, of course.  Knowing full well that I could not ride a motorcycle, I wheeled it across the street to the Presec School, where two security guards were relaxing under a Nim tree. Lord knows why they were sitting there watching me get robbed but at least I remembered to yank out the keys (unlike the silly ninja)  and then proceeded to walk towards the Madina Police Station. Oh and the ninja had no idea his bike was gone.
    Please don’t ask me what happened next.  I couldn’t recall anything else upon waking.  But my family and friends have had a good laugh at this one.  I actually think about it when I find myself in a mood.  Cheers me right up 🙂
    Anywho, Greetings from Bolga and all that.  Don’t miss me too much. I’ll be home soon….
    ~Daixy~ 

    Randomness from a Road Trip……..

    So, driving up to the Upper East Region of Ghana, I realised that I’m still very much the babbler. And when I babble, I come up with some pretty random topics. Here’s some of the stuff that I came up with during conversation while on the road;

    1.  In the aftermath of the events of this year’s Africa Cup of Nations, do Algerians drive through Togo?

    2.  Reasons why one should not build a  log cabin in Ghana:
    a) Termites will have a field day, regardless of the treatment methods you employ
    b) You’ll be an easy target for estranged family.  All they’ll need is some kerosene and a lighter/match and you’re toast.
    c) Dogs will forever be marking their territory on your house
    d) Shoddy Ghanaian electrical systems plus a log cabin = bad idea
    e)  Who you gonna call to build your log cabin in Ghana?  Do you call a carpenter, get an artisan from the art centre to carve one up for you?….

     3. No matter how things have changed, there’s no way that a grown man will/can accept a “small girl” being in charge of any project coordination, let alone controlling the money associated with it.

    4. I love cheese, books and things on TV, in no particular order.

    5.  Christians are quite possibly the biggest hypocrites there are out there.  We claim to be like Christ, but are nothing like the Son of God.  How do we profess love, and yet turn out to be the strongest “haters”?

    ~Daixy~

    From UER with love

    So, this little lady has gotten herself into another adventure.  Unfortunately, I can’t go into details about my trip and I’ll have to be careful what pictures I put up, but Lil’ Miz Daixy is off to save the world again, one little kid at a time.  Last time I was up there, I got to go to the border between Ghana and Burkina.

    Yes, that’s me at the border.  I also got to go nutts and messed about with a 99 yr old croc.

    Now I’m known to my friends and family as Shiela or Dundee 😉  Hopefully, I’ll have the chance to see more of the area this time around.   I can’t wait to see what else I can discover 🙂

    I’ll have internet and will be checking up on the blogosphere, but I doubt I’ll be doing much posting or commenting.  Yes, I will be stalking you lot!  Anywho, I’m off for my first day of teaching kids inappropriate things to say 😉  Holla @ y’all later

    ~Daixy~