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Tag: haphazard thoughts of a parasomniac

Otiko Djaba, Rape is not an STD.

Posted in Uncategorized

Dear Otiko Djaba,

Rape is NOT an STD. We Cannot Prevent Rape by Covering our bodies!

It is not often that I take the time to write to persons in positions of authority, as for the most part, I believe that authorities know what they are doing and do not need my input. However, on the odd occasion, I have been known to speak up. Ms Zita Okaikoi heard from me regarding her inaction, during her tenure as Ambassador to the Czech Republic, when a Ghanaian male was treated like “garbage” in that country.

Your predecessor, the Honourable Oye Lithur also heard from me, though I did not share my strong words for her here but kept to facebook, when she chose to sign the petition for the release of the Montie 3. Today, my attention is on you, and only you.

When you spoke up for yourself during your vetting and stood your ground when compelled to apologise to former President Mahama, I applauded from my home. I posted on social media about how it was high time we had a headstrong woman in the role of gender minister, who would not kowtow to the whimsy of our patriarchal society.

Imagine my joy when you turned up for your swearing-in looking radiant in your traditional garb and with your “interesting hairstyle” and hit back at your detractors when they accused you of setting a poor example for girls. Your defense for your hairstyle warmed my heart. Surely you would defend human rights as you defended your hair, no? Soon after, however, the bombs began to drop.

When videos began to circulate, in which a suspected female thief was sexually abused by a group of traders, you took days to speak regarding the issue, and even then, only to say that the police must be allowed to follow due process, and that the lady in question did not want to be found. My jaw dropped. With actual evidence in hand, the State wanted the victim to press charges before locking up those men? Even if she was proven to be a thief, did she deserve to be treated in such a manner?

The whole thing reminded me of an incident in Legon Uni where another alleged thief was stripped naked and manhandled by the males in one of the Mensah Sarbah Hall Annexes. Video footage circulated from this incident as well and some rather vile minded persons implied that she got what she deserved. I wonder why it took so long for action to be taken in the February 2017 event, when there was video evidence clearly showing the faces of her attackers.

You disappointed me, Otiko. You disappointed me so much but I had hope. I, and other women I hold dear to my heart, hoped you would “show us levels” but alas, just as Maya Angelou said, when someone shows you their character, believe them the first time.

I have actually left my sick bed to write to you tonight. I am supposed to be on bed rest while my back heals up but noooo, I needed to sit upright and take the time to let you know how disappointed I am, that you, a Minister for Gender should stand before a group of adolescent girls and declare that they should avoid wearing short skirts in order to prevent rape.

Can we stop devaluing men and their ability to think? Their brains are not actually stored in their penises.

I must thank you for warning male teachers not to coerce and abuse their charges. Warning them to desist from impregnating the girls, was a step in the right direction considering the society we live in but sadly, even this one good deed of yours stood on rocky ground. It gives the impression that the only thing wrong with male teachers sleeping with students, is the possibility of pregnancy.

You were absolutely right, in that it is an abuse of their rights but I put to you that pregnancy should be the least of their worries, but rather the emotional and physical trauma they inflict on their victims. Focusing on the risk of pregnancy ignores the fact that STDs could be transmitted and that female teachers could also be taking advantage of their charges, be they male or female students.

You mentioned something else that caught my attention, “We want to initiate a mentoring program; a girls-girls leadership program in all the schools, from basic to tertiary and as well as within the communities to ensure that we know our rights and we understand what it is to be  a woman who is an equal partner in society, no longer women behind but side by side with our men as equal partners”.

Great initiative but I wonder, can we have a mentoring program for boys as well? One which teaches them that older women sleeping with them is a form of abuse and not something they should be “proud of”? One that teaches them that they do not deserve sex whenever and wherever they want it, and that they should not be afraid to speak up when they are being forced into situations they are uncomfortable with? Our society has taught men for far too long, that their “manhood” and brains lay in their penises, and that women exist solely to provide them with pleasure.

In the next breath, you are alleged to have stated, that the girls should “…be bold, be confident, be respectful. If you wear a short dress, it’s fashionable but know that it can attract somebody who would want to rape or defile you. You must be responsible for the choices you make”.

Here is where I screamed in fury before being reduced to a weeping mess. My dear woman, that was a terrible gaffe. You revealed in those words, the fact that you are as much embroiled in the patriarchal BS that we are fed daily, as women. As the defender of human rights, you managed, in one fell swoop, to lay the blame for rape at the feet of the victims (fine, fine, potential victims). Please be informed, if you have not read my header above, “Rape is not an STD and we cannot prevent it by covering up“.

Rape Condom! To deter lusty males from infecting your body with rape.

Your statement ignores the following:

  1. Rape is not about sex. People do not rape because they are horny and want to get off. No, rape is about control, about power, about abusing a vulnerability, be it mental or physical. It is this “power thirst” that has warriors raping while they pillage villages. You think they simply miss their wives? No no it is about humiliation of the enemy and proving their weakness. “Haha you call yourselves warriors? Watch us violate your women and children”. Sex has been used as a weapon for years and so I am appalled when I meet people who miss the purpose of rape.
  2. Rape involves more than a penis and a vagina. I do not believe in the Ghanaian legal definition for rape, as it assumes just as you have, that rape only involves a man placing his penis inside of a woman’s vagina. The term defilement annoys me also, as it implies a sullying of the victim. The victim is not dirty, in the case of “defilement” so why use such a disgusting term? Newsflash, Madam Minister, men can be raped too. They can be raped by men, and by women. Once upon a time, I thought it was impossible to rape a man but then I learned that rape is about consent, and consent can be denied, even in the presence of a physical response.Research has shown that in fight or flight situations, men can have erections. The same happens with women, who often are ashamed to report rape because their bodies responded during the struggle. Most often, their attackers even point out to them the fact that their bodies are prepped and ready.I ask you, as a woman who seems to think that short skirts are the reason for rape, what would you say to a woman who told you she said no to a man but he forced himself on her and that, to her shame, she had an orgasm or two? Would you as gender Minister then decide her orgasm was proof of consent? I think you need some gender sensitivity training.
  3. Rapists have self control. Yes they do! They have so much self control in fact, that they actively search for persons they can overpower physically and mentally. A rapist who is 5’4″ and weighs 50kg will not attempt to physically overpower a person who is 6’2″ and weighs 90kg, certainly not without a weapon, or with prior knowledge that the potential victim is not mentally sound and thus can be coerced into the act.All those house helps seducing their young charges, call it statutory rape or no, there is a clear indication that these persons have had their bodies and rights violated.The idea that showing a little bare skin is enough to drive men into a sexual frenzy is absurd and should not be perpetrated any further. If a woman should choose to walk through the streets naked, it is not an excuse for anyone, male or female to touch them inappropriately, let alone insert objects into any orifices.  You liken men to animals with no self control, when we have seen dogs back off from food because they were told “NO”. Are men honestly reduced below the level of dogs when they get turned on?
  4. Rapists do not always beat their victims into submission. Most children who are assaulted will tell you their attackers did not beat them. They may have threatened violence either on their person or that of a loved one in order to get them to keep quiet, but overall, child molesters (rapists) simply prey on innocence and naivete to get what they want. Drugging an adult victim is a sure way of overpowering them without physical force. Or perhaps you, like the Ghana Police, want every victim to turn up with rope burns, swollen eyes, busted lips and vaginal tears to prove they did not consent to sex?
  5. Women in full clothing get raped too. The high incidence of rape in countries like India and Bangladesh are proof enough that no matter what a person wears, they can still be attacked by predators. Long skirt, short skirt, tights or jeans trousers, none will prevent a narcissist from taking what they want.

Pardon me for the long rant but I feel very passionately about this because this argument allows a lot of rapists to get away scott free. It allows boyfriends, dates, husbands (yes and girlfriends and wives) to simply refuse to take no for an answer, force a physical response from their victim and take from them, that which they do not wish to give.

Patriarchy has done this to us. Women are taught they are to blame if they are raped, that they are at fault if they get pregnant and men are taught that they are men when they have a high body count. They refuse to consider that they could be sexually assaulted because they cannot fathom ever having a woman or another man managing to overpower them physically or mentally.

Let’s please get this right and stop victim shaming. Giving predators excuses will never do, and teaching our young women that their clothing will drive men into a frenzy is beyond irresponsible.

Ms Djaba, i must ask you to do better. As gender minister, you are more than just a voice for the voiceless. You should never be caught perpetrating such misogyny.  Please don’t ever tell girls they make a choice to be preyed on by rapists when they dress a certain way. I don’t see us telling the lion that the gazelle was prancing about like a slut and deserved to be eaten.
And thus a closet rapist is born

The next time you talk about sexual abuse in any form, please remember to discuss consent. Let it be known that a man or woman has no right to demand oral, vaginal or anal sex from another person. Let them know even hand jobs are not to be demanded.

I and other Ghanaians want to hear you telling men and women that even if a person consented to sex, and is in the middle of the act, they still have a choice to say no and walk away. Let it also be known that if a man or woman says no to sex, that it is not alright to convince them to say yes, by stroking their bodies into submission.

This is one thing I have noticed in some Ghanaian relationships, where people assume the person saying no is playing hard to get. Disrespecting the person’s wants and choices, forcing a physical response from them, and carrying on is reprehensible. Sex is supposed to be between two willing individuals. The fact that one person has to be coerced should surely kill any vim, no? 

Oh by the way, I went out drinking on Friday night wearing a short dress and heels. The older male I was with, despite my near intoxication, thin frame and sexy clothing (the dress even had cut outs to show some flesh above my boobs) did not rape me. He had several chances, as we were in a dark and quiet section of the bar we visited and the streets on our drive back to my home were dark, to overpower and rape me, but he did not. In fact, he did not even touch my arm or leg, simply because I had already told him prior, that I was not interested in sex with him, or anyone, and that I was only interested in making a new friend. I know this must be a shock to you, and to others who hold your views that men are uncontrollable beings led by their penises but this man is a prime example of what we nurture when we, as a society teach men and women to respect each other, and make them understand that they are not entitled to anything from another person.

Oh by the by, I apologise for calling your hairstyle a chicken style on twitter. I was overcome by anger yet still, I owe you an apology. Your hairstyle should have no impact on your duty, unless the weave is sewn in too tight and making it impossible for you to concentrate.

Be the woman we expect you to be, Otiko. Show us that you’re here to protect all genders and that you are capable of doing your job.

Sincerely Yours,

~Daixy~

PS I have so much more to say but I am emotionally and physically exhausted. Should you wish to debate further, my twitter handle is @D41XY. I loooove to debate online, but only when I do not have deadlines to meet.

 

A Language of Stars

Posted in poetry, and Relationships

Img Source: Zias

 

I love you
Like the moon does the sun,
Bathing in its warm rays to reflect
Light, heat, gravitational energy;
Pulling a sea of emotions to and fro

I love you
Even as a dream
Of sandcastles and wave-hewn rocks
And seaweed monsters defeated by salt-foam dragons

I miss you
Like the sky does the sun at night
These stars?
They are but pale imitations
Of your cosmic heat

I need you
But you are too far gone,
Your love-light turned moon
Basking in the rays of another sun.

~Daixy~

Love Upon a Time

Posted in poetry, Relationships, and Uncategorized

Love cradled me long ago
 In a life once upon a time,
 I laid beside him;
 My ear,
 Tucked beneath his heart,
 Listening to staccato beat

Love broke one day
 In the blink of an eye
 I grasped him;
 Tight to my bosom
 Legs wrapped about him
 As he drove home our last goodbye

Love went away
 Seemingly to die
 I raised a marker;
 Where my heart once bled
 Now marble cold
 Without his warming light

Love sits in limbo
 A place beyond space and time
 It floats in stasis;
 Waiting
 For cryogenic frost
 To melt beneath renewed heat

Love stirs for you
 Even within layers of pain
 It yearns for release;
 My heart,
 Straining to meet and match
 Each beat for fervent beat


Ebb n Flow

Posted in poetry

My Love,

At times you are timid;

Testing my temperature as the ocean water tickles the shore

Others, you are more sure of yourself;

Ebbing and flowing about me,

Stroking emotions I have hidden far too long.

Yet others you come crashing in;

Tempestuous, unbridled, fierce

Then retreat,

Ripping a piece of me with you

Leaving me longing,

And when I least expect it;

Come crashing home once more,

Into my arms, a penitent sinner,

Relentless in your pleas for mercy.

Ever the fool, I take you back

For what is a beach without her ocean love?

Still,

Beware, My Love,

That you do not retreat too often,

That you control your storm-driven heart,

For there is only so much of me

And soon,

There will be nothing left for you to return to.

Flight Song

Posted in poetry

Image Source

Come along with me
On a discovery
Of a world between dream and reality
Float away with me
Make no apologies
For the song within you.

Sing of a memory
Set your soul free
To roam the earth as it
Was meant to

Sing of the love
That you won and lost
The joys; and pain you’ve paid as cost
Sing of your hopes
To find another heart
That beats a matching tune to yours.

Soar on up with me
Just a bit higher,
Let go of your hold on gravity
Behind you are the tears of the past
Ahead, endless possibilities

Let your voice ring out
Here no one can stop your ascent
You can let go of the yearning
From deep in your soul.
See? the clouds of hurt,
Are parting before you

No no, don’t hide from the light
Reach out for it.
Can’t you hear it calling to you?
You are no Icarus
You will not burn
Go on, touch the sun

Ooh, can you feel the love?
Let it pulsate about you
Breathe it all in
Now sing,
Sing your heart out
Allow this journey to heal you

There! You hear it?
That perfect harmony?
Feel those arms embracing you,
Those lips caressing yours?
No no, don’t run. Stay right there.
You are right where you are meant to be

What’s that?
No, no you don’t need to know the way back.
You’re a balloon, you have no need for the past
And look, you have someone to rise with.
There you go! Accept this reality
The other is now but a fading dream.

 

Lesson Learned from Czech Ebola Debacle

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Ghanaian student manhandled in Prague
Ghanaian student manhandled in Prague

To: Zita Okaikoi, Ambassador to the Czech Republic

From: Daixy, Unrepentant Critic and Opinionated Ghanaian Woman

 

Dear Zita,

May I call you Zita?

Of course, I may. This is my platform and you are currently unavailable to deny or accept my request.

I wish I could say I was hollering at you for good reasons. Next time, we should confer over a cup of tisane, and some of my famous cupcakes, and discuss the pros and cons of running a business in Ghana.

Today, however, I have a bone to pick with you.

You see, I was scanning the news this evening when I saw an item about a Ghanaian student who was “arrested” at Prague. The item came with a video which was appalling, to say the least.

Reports say the student had been cleared by airport screenings but was picked up at a train station.

There’s a lot wrong with the situation.

First of all, the student was profiled on account of his race. Tell me that a white traveler would have met the same fate at this boy. Being covered in a plastic sheet?! Was he dead? Why didn’t they just place him in a sealed body bag and be done with it?

Second, he was chased after his initial clearance. Granted, he showed signs of being unwell but that brings me to my third point.

Being arrested at a train station, carted off on a trolley (not a stretcher) and covered in a plastic sheet/blanket before being dumped in an ambulance, is not the way to treat a human being. I do not know if it was fear on the part of the man in the hazard suit but the way he grabbed the guy’s arm and shoved him in the ambulance was awful. I am usually hesitant to call racism but this is clearly the case here.

Now let me get to the meat of my message to you.

In your Interview with JoyFm tonight, you indicated that the Ghanaian Mission to the Czech Republic was “quite shocked” at the incident. Shocked shouldn’t be your reaction. Outraged, sounds about right to me. You should be incensed at the poor treatment meted out to one of your citizens and calling for the proverbial guillotines to be mounted.

Zita, what shocked me was your statement that this incident should “be a lesson for all West Africans”. Those words should never have left your mouth. I may have misconstrued your meaning but feel very strongly that you could have worded things better.

West Africans should NEVER have to expect such inhumane treatment whether in our own country or elsewhere. We should NEVER accept profiling and manhandling, no matter where we are. If a westerner had been treated in Ghana; the way this boy was treated, heads would roll. Please, by all means, tell West Africans that they should be careful when making their travel plans; that they should be aware of overzealous health workers and a security system intent on marking them for quarantine regardless of whether or not they have visited an Ebola-struck country. Tell them they should realise that now, when white people stare at them and clutch their children to their bosoms, it’s not really because they are black, but because they have “Ebola until proven innocent”.

I applaud you for your willingness to protest the unfair treatment of this student, who in your own words, is “highly traumatised” but must call you out for your defeatist attitude when you said, you believe the Czech Authorities will simply respond by saying they were taking precautions.

Do not back down! Imagine that boy as your son and stand firm when you demand an unqualified apology for him, and the people of Ghana. I would expect that by now, the Czech Ambassador would have been summoned to the Flagstaff house to provide an “explanation” for this debacle. ANYTHING to show the Ghanaian community within and abroad that our government gives a damn about the good people of Ghana.

And for goodness sakes, please don’t ever ask us to “learn” from awful treatment meted out to us. This is how black slaves told their daughters to learn, every time they were raped by a white man. “Don look ’em in de eye, chile. Don yoo wake up de faya in ’em”. Perhaps my analogy is harsh but it’s how I feel.

I look forward to hearing your demands to the Czech Republic.

 

Best,

Daixy

 

Accra: Village, Slum or City?

Woke up this morning to see this article floating about on twitter. In this article, Eonline reporter  Alyssa Toomey writes, “The handsome boy-banders visited the impoverished village of Accra and took to Twitter to detail their eye-opening experience.”
From what I can surmise, Comic Relief (responsible for Red Nose Day)  brought One Direction to Accra. Lord knows which parts of Accra they sent them to, but hey, they saw a slum or two.
This is what one member had to say about his trip:
https://mail-attachment.googleusercontent.com/attachment/u/0/?ui=2&ik=179c22f4fa&view=att&th=13c42b9e2363e27e&attid=0.1&disp=inline&realattid=1424311331919495168-1&safe=1&zw&saduie=AG9B_P_VP_Hzw4NW2i-th9UwWnUb&sadet=1358329173800&sads=xWeM9eT46wLS5CbRfyeOYv0bni0
Hey Niall, thanks for visiting my country (even though you only visited Accra) and thanks for wanting to help those who are poverty stricken but here’s some thing you need to wise up to. Poverty is everywhere, even in your beloved United Kingdom. How is it that you managed not to notice that “poverty is real” before you visited my “impoverished village of Accra”?

In response to the article and the tweets from Niall Horan, GH twitter had a field day. Aside from tweets like mine which expressed outrage, a lot took to humour to voice their displeasure.

This one from Wanlov the Kubolor had me laughing my butt off!

 
I can’t blame One Direction.  They’re kids, really and hey, I can understand to some degree how in all the excitement, the band members could have tweeted like they did.  You can never see poverty and walk away untouched.  You’d have to be a cold bastard for that.

My beef is with the article on Eonline and thus, with  Alyssa Toomey. Ms. Toomey apparently failed to do her research before posting the article.  Even worse, the article either did not go through an editor, or her editor was an ignoramus. Accra is not an “impoverished village”. So I asked Niall, One Direction and Eonline to please tell Alyssa that Accra is not a village.  None of them bothered responding but that’s to be expected.  I tweeted at Alyssa herself asking her to edit the article and deliver an apology but received no response. I didn’t really expect otherwise.

While others rant on about whether or not Accra is a “modern city” and complain about the “dirt” etc, I would like to make myself very clear.

A village is defined by my common dictionary to be:

  1. A group of houses and associated buildings, larger than a hamlet and smaller than a town, situated in a rural area.
  2. A self-contained district or community within a town or city, regarded as having features characteristic of village life.

Accra is very much an urban area, no matter what people choose to say about it. It is larger than a town. Perhaps the slum that was visited could be described as a village but my Capital City of Accra truly fails to meet the description of a village.  It is a CITY! I do not understand why the word village has come to mean in some people’s minds, “a dirty group of mud houses with animals roaming freely about”. Please! Not every village comes with complimentary death and squalor. Accra has a huge problem with sanitation and we need to get our people to stop throwing their crap in the street but just cuz some so called “villagers” have relocated to Accra from the rural areas etc does not mean it has become a village.

Every city the world over has its share of poverty. I don’t really care about the author tagging Accra as impoverished.  Hey, if she thinks hotels like Movenpick Ambassador and La Palm Royal are signs of impoverishment, that’s her problem. I can take her behind Dekalb in the Bronx or walk her through Harlem and show her some poor people. Would she like to call those places villages too? Even in Memphis, I saw squalor.The abject poverty I have witnessed will not let me attempt to fool anyone that we do not indeed have impoverished sections (and a lot of them) in Accra.

My problem is with western media always needing to portray Africa as a poverty ridden “country”. They blatantly refuse to show the progress we’re making. Growing up, I studied geography and read a lot so I knew most of the states of America and of course, that the Britain was a teeny weeny Island etc. It was all drummed into my head, whether I wanted to know it or not.  So how come Western kids do not know that Africa is a continent? How could Alyssa Toomey not have checked facts on Ghana and thus not know that Accra was our Capital city?

Later on in the day, I discovered that the article had been edited and the insulting phrase taken out. I feel better, knowing that at least one more person out there will think twice before writing about my homeland in a derogatory manner.  I don’t care if you tell the truth about my country.  Talk about the poverty all you like (but talk about yours too and maintain the balance) but please do not make the mistake of belittling us.

To celebs like One Direction who love to do charity work, kudos. Your hard work is really appreciated but please for the love of all things Holy, do your homework. Don’t mar the good work you do with ignorant comments.

My final two cents is meant for all Ghanaians. Can we fix up our city? Please? Accra is a health hazard and it’s time we cleaned it up. We have town and country planning.  Why are their codes being ignored? Why are people dumping rubbish wherever they feel like? And what do we do about the mass exodus of people from rural areas to our urban centres? How long has that Slum at Korle Gono been in existence and what has been done to take care of it?

Until we make strides to improve things and better brand our nation, we will forever have ignorant impressions running around about this country and the rest of Africa. Let’s work together to paint a better picture of our homeland.  It’s the only one we have! 

God Bless Ghana!

~Daixy~

The Adventures of Ginger Rayne Maxen…….

Naughty Ginger stole some fish
Silly Ginger got his dish
Dessert was best served with a bone in his teeth
That he couldn’t dislodge with his hands nor his feet

So Mama Daixy called the vet
Together they chased down the frightened pet
Fished the bone out from mouth agape
Finally let him make his escape

Now Ginger lies curled up on mama’s bed
Quite the adventure he has led
Perhaps now he will learn his lesson
And stop stealing meat from out the kitchen!!!

~Daixy

LOL.  I wrote this one crazy evening when I got called in from work to help with a kitty emergency.  Somehow, despite my insistence that I didn’t want any more pets, the cats in the house (dogs too) have become my responsibility.  And I have to say that my little Ginger can be quite the handful.  From peeing on my bed (and me) on his first day, to stealing chicken from my dad’s dinner, the little bugger has now taken to mewling outside my window at 5am (on the dot!)

I know the poem is cheesy but I couldn’t resist making fun of him.  Oh and the picture is of him as a kitten, tucked up in his basket. He still pulls such contortionist positions when he sleeps 😉

Pray Tell…..

Christina Nana Araba Asamoah

…….Why does death doll out
          Sorrow
            Pain
               Abject Misery?

Is it lunacy to want to shout;
         No!
           Remain!
             Stay with me!?

I would that he’d not knocked on our door
Touched your flesh with his icy digits
And snatched you from us

I’m afflicted with
Seeming streams of salty tears
Threatening to reduce me to a
Pathetic Puddle;
A pitiful mess.

You are gone way too soon
And I truly begin to wonder
Why death dolls out, such;
         Sorrow
           Pain
             Misery
Torment of never seeing you again.

~Daixy~


Some say we should have seen it coming.  After two strokes, why should we have expected her to survive?  But you see, those who say that didn’t see her the last time I did, before she left for her home.  She’d stepped out of our guest room dressed to the nines in a gorgeous kaba and slit.  It wasn’t really the outfit or her neatly pulled back hair that struck me that day though. It was the smirk she wore when she walked out the room and the confident stride she took up.  She looked ready to face the world…ready to fight.


I wish I’d taken a picture…

Silky Smooth & Sexy……

My mop broke.  That’s my excuse for being at shoprite at 8:30pm on a saturday evening.  If you’ve met me, you’ll know that I dislike the mall with a passion and try to avoid it as much as possible.  Sadly, it’s the one place I will visit when I need something like a self-squeezing mop or foreign foodstuffs I won’t find at my local market.

So yeah, my mop broke and I chose to go get a new one on account of I needed to finish cleaning my room.  Now, I’m gonna quit yapping about mops before I end up gushing about this new one, with it’s twist to squeeze feature and easy grip.

Something shocked me as I walked bast the bath products aisle! 

See, there was a section with razors.  I love razors and shaving cream. So I decided to check if they had Venus razors.  You know, the line that’s made specifically for women?  I’ve run out and been looking for months for venus sticks in every pharmacy or store I visit.  I figured, “Oh the mall should have them”.  Oh poor naive me.

No Venus sticks!  Everything From Bic to Gillette but no Venus?

I think it was the frustration of the endless searches and the fact that I’d gotten my hopes up that made me blurt out to my male companion “Why don’t they have venus razors?  Don’t Ghanaian women shave?!”  My voice was a bit too loud (usually I can be heard from accross a room lol) and I could hear the couple behind me laugh out loud.  My friend said, “No they don’t.  Haven’t you seen the hairy legs and the beards that could rival mine?”

Come to think of it, ghanaian women don’t seem to like to shave their legs.  Or faces, or their bikini area.  I once had a roommate (in college) laugh at me when I complained that I couldn’t find my favourite Gillette women’s shaving cream on the market.  She laughed even harder when I switched to NAIR and asked me why I bothered.

Well I think women should live by the Triple S Principle. Yes they should have SSS= Skin So Soft.  And that oh so soft skin should also be SSS= Silky-Smooth and Sexy.  Nothing irks me more than seeing a woman in a short skirt and beautiful legs that are suffocating underneath a heavy layer of hair, and yet my fellow ghanaian women are reluctant to grab a razor, so much so that a whole shoprite will not bother stocking a special line of razors for women.  You’ve never had a perfect shave until you’ve tried a Venus razor, in my opinion.  Their special bikini area trimmer is a wonderful addition to a woman’s bathroom routine and their soothing solution for razor bumps is marvelous!

I saw a woman once in town and she was sporting a hairy face.  For a while, I thought she was a man until i noticed the dress.  Even the men shave their beards…..why can’t we get rid of ours when our bodies decide to produce too much testosterone?  Oh and that one time at the beach where this girl showed up in a bikini but had forgotten to trim her bikini area?  Like seriously?  And you see it all the time.  Pretty women who work at the bank, wearing their short tight little numbers with orangutan legs to match….

I have lots of questions.

First is, do ghanaian women truly object to shaving/waxing/trimming legs and other areas?

2. If you do remove/manage hair, what products do you use?
3. Why do you choose to shave (or otherwise) ?
4. If your local store stopped shipping whatever product you use for hair removal, would you demand that they restock?

5. Ghanaian guys, what do you think about women who shave/wax their legs?

6. And what of women who don’t?  Would you be cool hanging out with a woman whose legs were much more hairy than yours?

Let’s hear from you, people.  I want to know what the deal is with this.

I’ve Missed this space.  Hopefully work will afford me some time to revisit.  Thanks to those who still check out this space.  God Bless,

~Daixy~