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Earth Child: Naptural Woman Pt 2

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So….laptop died. Got new laptop. Lost password to the site. Now I’m back.
New site, new look. I had installed a lovely gallery but apparently I cannot troubleshoot for beans and my techy person is never available when I mess something up on the site. Look out for new improvements on here.

Today, I just wanted to share with you, my new favourite look. Perhaps you remember that in October last year I hacked off my permed hair. I’ve been playing with everything since then and finally settled on a look.

Y’all should come check out the candles behind me. All home-made and scented with love

My mom thinks it doesn’t suit me. Thinks it makes my “megoshi konko” forehead look bigger. My dad thinks I look like “Sasabonsam”. Well two days after and people were coming up to me and asking, “why don’t you perm your hair?”. I forgave that question easily because it was a question I asked natrual haired girls back when I was relaxing my hair. I wasn’t asking to be annoying. I genuinely wanted to know why I should stop slathering cream on my strands. Sadly, very few of them gave me a proper answer but that’s for another day. My response to questions of why I’ve chopped off my perm is;

  • It’s my natural hair and high time I embraced the kinks
  • Studies link relaxers to breast and ovarian cancer as well as to birth defects. This needs more investigation. I do not like the use of parabens and pthalates on the body, which is why I make my own lotions and am graduating to other cosmetics. I’m removing chemicals from my diet and cosmetics. Why eat soy and other healthy foods, only to dump chemical relaxer on my head?
  • I really wanted to see what a fro would look like on me
  • My relaxed hair never got to the original length from way back when (my initial relax at age 9 saw my hair falling to my shoulders. After cutting it for JSS, it’s never been able to get to its original length) and I want to give it the chance to grow properly.

Yeah, I know. Supposed to be one answer but I never do short answers. I forgave these people because they weren’t offensive. They asked a simple question and listened to the answers.
What irked me, instead, was the people who came up to me saying, “Oh but you looked so pretty with relaxed hair. You should go back to it”. Like WTF?! So I look ugly now? My face is the same (albeit a bit fuller cuz I’ve gained weight) it’s only the texture of the hair that has changed. Why would you insinuate that I no longer am pretty because I’ve embraced my kinks? In typical Daixy fashion, my thought was to shave my head completely and watch them gaping like guppies while trying to figure out what demeaning comments to make on my hair, or lack thereof. Sanity prevailed, though (in the form of @madjetey) and my kinky head is still safe.

I don’t understand why it is that fake is the new normal. We, as Africans, are now expected to be lighter skinned with silkier, straighter hair. The longer and finer the hair, the better your chances at grabbing an eligible partner or that dream job. I wonder if job interviews these days are conducted in a salon, with the interviewer running their hands through to determine whether your mane is care of a relaxer of brazilian “lawyer”. Chances are, you would get more points if it’s a lawyer and at least 16 inches long.

Everyone should have a choice when it comes to their own appearance. Advice is always nice, considering it’s delivered tactfully but it’s up to the individual to determine what works for them and what doesn’t. For those of us Africans who choose to reconnect with the Earth Mother, let us be. We won’t judge you for not doing the same. Please, do us a solid and return the favour.
Oh and quit suggesting chemical based products when I tell you I only use water, coconut oil and shea butter. It’s not cool.


originally posted August 30th 2013 on



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