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When Life is Just too Hard to Deal With: 13 yr old girl commits suicide!!

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Reading the paper today, this story caught my eye. Girl, 13, Commits Suicide.

Apparently, thirteen (13) year old Abigail who lives with her Aunt (Beatrice) in Takoradi decided that life was just too much for her to deal with. This child hanged herself for what she claims to be unfounded accusations of promiscuity and theft. A day after reporting the suicide to the police, Beatrice produced a “suicide note” in which Abigail is said to have stated that a colleague and friend of Beatrice’s (Sophia) had accused her of stealing phone cards and a charger. The little girl went on in her note to state that her aunt had accused her of flirting, and most importantly, denied those claims.

Perhaps I’m being picky, but shouldn’t the police when they investigated the scene, have discovered the note? What sort of detective work did they do? If you come across a suicide scene, isn’t the first thing you do after checking to see if there is any sign of a pulse to look for a note?

I wonder who this little girl was. I may not have known her, but I wish I knew who she was and what happened to her. I think about whether or not she had NO ONE to talk to about the persecution she felt she was facing. I’m wondering how bad it had to be for her to decide to end it all. I’ve already given her a profile in my head. Most likely she is orphaned and living with the only relative who would have her. Or perhaps her parents are incapable of caring for her and chose to send her to stay with a better off relation, as is often the case here in Ghana.

My question is, how did this child come to the conclusion that she could go to no one for help? Was there not a pastor she spoke to? A playmate? A concerned neighbour? If it was that bad, could she not have run away? Why did she feel there was nothing else out there for her?

I wish someone could have saved her from her demons, real or imagined as they may be. I figure what disturbed me most was how in the “Weekend Mirror” an “observer” was quoted to have said that the girl killed herself to cover up her crimes. That person hinted that Abigail may have been pregnant and may have killed herself to avoid punishment. Grr. I sincerely doubt that anyone, choosing to end their life for a crime they committed, would choose to leave the sort of note Abigail did. Most likely, she would have apologised for her crimes in the note. It would take a truly bitter soul to leave a farewell note declaring themselves innocent of a crime they committed. Like, think of it. If you’re leaving the world anyway, why hide your sins? It doesn’t gel with me. This girl in whatever state she was in, still felt the need to declare her innocence. And goodbye she wrote out in capital letters? She made it very clear who it was she was running from. If she truly were pregnant, would she not have given some explanation on that? Perhaps an apology for killing her unborn child?

So now, I feel terrible for her aunt, who most likely did not realise what was going on. Surely, she never meant to harm the girl. It’s quite probable that there were reasons for her to believe Abigail was headed for trouble and she acted the only way she knew how. How can this woman feel now, taking the blame for this tragedy?

Whether she is responsible or not, I doubt there is any way that she will be able to get out of this without feeling guilty. Little Abigail did far more than take her own life. She marked at least one woman for life and most likely ruined their reputations. This woman will forever blame herself for not seeing this coming, for not dealing with the situation properly, for not listening…..you know us humans; even without the note, she’d make herself responsible.

This raises a lot of issues about the way children are raised in this country. How much is too much chastising and ridiculing? When is it not okay to call a child up, sit them down and tell them to the face that their actions are wrong? When should you give up on correcting a child and guiding them on the right path?

This is where counseling services would be helpful in Ghana. Sure, a person has committed suicide, but what of the people who are left behind, those that feel guilty? Who is to save them from sinking into the same states that their friends and loved ones were in?

I feel that if we had better child services, if CHRAJ and WAJU and other social services were running properly in this country……would Abigail still be alive? I’m wondering how many more cases such as this will have to occur before something is done in this country and wish that people who have the Know How will step forward and DO SOMETHING about mental health issues in Ghana. At least our children should have one place they can go to when they feel oppressed and depressed.

It’s bad enough when adults who should know better commit suicide but when our children turn to it? We should know by now that we have a problem and our Nations leaders should quit arguing about which members of parliament are homosexuals and actually get down to doing their work. People like Derrick Adjei, should be talking about ways to keep our youth from pulling stunts like this, not mouthing off about Akuffo Addos’s supposed diminutive stature. Just you wait! Your time in Daixy’s corner will come sooner than you think.

~Daixy~

related posts:
Daixy on Suicide Prevention day
Daixy on Suicide Debunked
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Comments

comments

9 Comments

  1. Such a tragedy…I was shocked when I read the article. I think there was an 8/10 year old boy who committed suicide a few months ago after being sent home from school. I can’t remember the details. It is extremely annoying that real social issues are being ignored and petty politics is holding sway in Ghana.

    September 18, 2010
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  2. I find it interesting that the day the newspapers carried this suicide, it was still politics as usual on the airwaves.
    Sad, how deeply affected emotionally the girl might have been with words hurdled at her.
    I am ..((:

    September 18, 2010
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  3. @ Abena, I think it’s disgraceful how our politicians are busy yapping on the airways about nonsensical nonsense and wasting time insulting each other and spreading useless propaganda when there are real issues to tackle.

    Someone said in another blog, something to the tune of, What we need in this country aren’t politicians but LEADERS. I can’t remember who said it or on what blog. I do remember it was a guy though lol and I must say that I agree wholeheartedly with him.

    September 19, 2010
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  4. @ Tetekai, our media are sadly pretty much like our politicians and don’t really give a hoot about these issues. The story carried in the papers simply on account of it was sensational and would sell papers. The radio stations however don’t need much more than music, commercials and a few political interviews to keep them going. It’s so sad but true.

    I guess it’s always relative, how people will deal with stress. I think I know where you’re coming from to a degree. (No one ever knows completely what someone else is going through but I can empathise) Hope you find your way of dealing with it soon. Don’t let anyone stress your sweet self 🙂

    September 19, 2010
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  5. This is so many things and none of them are good. What are we doing if those younger than us cannot approach us for advice and closure and are forced to “deal with it” on their own?

    I’m all for learning to cope, but some things should not have to be coped with. This is purely pathetic.

    Dunno about the aunt, Daixy, but somehow I get the feeling that she may not be as chuffed as you think, or for as long. Sure, some trauma is bound to arise, and if it were planned it’d be the sickest plot ever, but I have a feeling that it won’t faze her as much as we’d all like to hope.

    Maybe I’m being a pessimist here, but that’s what I feel.

    To the politicians of this country, a good friend wrote “Become a leader worthy of following, or I, for one, will not follow you.”

    Man, I’m writing WAAAY too much too late. I’m out.

    September 23, 2010
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  6. Shels
    Shels

    Some ghanaian cops are stupid like dat..imagine my disbelieve when they found a body in a tank in sum1s garden and instead of ‘investigating’ and looking around for ‘evidence’, they say ‘this must be spiritual’ and d body is taken away.. idiots! they din even drain the tank..the family members had to do it, and took whatever they found at d bottom to the police. morons!

    September 24, 2010
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  7. @ Will, I think it’s time ghanaians realised that children are no longer “children”. Those little minds have seen much too much 🙁

    I’m hoping the Aunt is human and that others learn from this experience. There’s only so far that you can push a human being, regardless of their age. Call me an optimist (LOL Like I could ever be one) but I’d like to think she wasn’t the evil aunt this girl seems to think she was.

    Don’t worry about the politicians. Soon,I’ll be taking pot shots at them 😉 Maybe it’s time Ghana had a female president. If Obama can do it, well then, so can I 😀

    September 25, 2010
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  8. @ Shels, you can’t be serious! Oh chale! Spiritual indeed. Some ghost decided to stuff the body into the tank? Balderdash I say.

    There was a time that I wanted to study forensic science and offer my services to the Ghana Police. Perhaps I should revisit that old fantasy. It’s weird really. My grand dad was a policeman and I loved him dearly for his intelligence and principles. I wish all the men serving today could be like him.

    Here’s to less superstitious policemen and for the GPS to actually send people out to study the fine art of investigation 😀

    September 25, 2010
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  9. Shels
    Shels

    lol. Cheers!

    October 3, 2010
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