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Month: September 2010

Chotto Kawaiiii

Child held in a car seat by a five point harnessImage via Wikipedia

Driving out with dad today, I was busy running my mouth off when I heard a little voice calling, “bye bye…”  Looking up at the SUV next to me, I noticed the little tyke waving at me from the passenger window.  Forgetting the point I was making to my dad, I found myself turning into a squealing baby lover.  “Aaaaaw aren’t you cuuuuuute!  Buh Bye……”  Complete with giant smile and waves. It’s this quarter life crisis I tell you!  I can’t resist cute and adorable children!!!!!

And then I spent most of the rest of the drive gushing to dad about how cute the little boy was and how when I have kids I’d want them to be as sweet as that one.  It wasn’t until later that I realised,

  • He was in the front seat
  • On his mother’s lap
  • He wasn’t in a car seat!!!
  • His mother didn’t smile at me (maybe she doesn’t like people complimenting her son and refusing to compliment her :P) 
  • I want one of my own!!! Not in the distant future, or next year, or tomorrow….I want one NOW!  The boyfriend better get to work fast lol.

I got nothing but mad rambling today.  Sorry…….I’m going to give myself a good work out and get off this happy high lol
~Daixy~

    Up to here……

    Image via Wikipedia

    I wish that I didn’t have to feel
    For numbness to mask the pain
    That I had space to heal
    And didn’t have to see your cheating face again

    I wish you’d just leave me be
    To live my life in peace
    Must you keep tabs on me
    Ensure that I’m still down on my knees?

    Don’t you think you’ve done enough
    To tear my world apart
    To shatter dreams of my gullible youth
    And trample on my oh so fragile heart?

    I’m sick and tired of crying
    Of wondering what I did wrong
    Even though I realise that you were a lying
    Cheating Ass all along!

    Congratulations!
    You almost broke my spirit
    But you really should cease your jubilations,
    You see, because I’ve finally hit my limit

    So I’ll say this one last time
    I’ve had enough of you
    And I’ll get over your insidious crime
    If it’s the last thing I do

    Quit trying to check out my facebook
    And calling me up on the phone
    Don’t come over to give me that puppy dog look
    And for goodness sakes, LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!!

    ~Daixy~

    Cowards! Stand there and take it like a man….

    Posted in Uncategorized

    To whom it may concern,

    Thanks ever so much for running into my parked car.  Thanks so much for choosing not to wait around for the owner of the ride you scraped.  Thanks for leaving that wide and long dent for me to fix.  And above all, thanks for proving yourself to be a coward.  The least you could have done was leave a note on my windscreen with an apology and maybe even a number so I could call and thank you for at least being responsible. 

    I think you are a coward for not facing your crime and wish someone would do far more damage to whatever you have the misfortune of driving.  As I take out money I should be using to pay school fees or feeding my family to fix the dent and scratch you left, I’ll be wishing for a thousand skunks to bathe you in their juices and hoping that someone chooses to put sugar in your petrol tank.

    I’m pissed off beyond measure and hope you never let me get wind of your identity.

    Just saying and hoping you have a sucky day.

    ~Daixy~

    When Life is Just too Hard to Deal With: 13 yr old girl commits suicide!!

    Image via Wikipedia

    Reading the paper today, this story caught my eye. Girl, 13, Commits Suicide.

    Apparently, thirteen (13) year old Abigail who lives with her Aunt (Beatrice) in Takoradi decided that life was just too much for her to deal with. This child hanged herself for what she claims to be unfounded accusations of promiscuity and theft. A day after reporting the suicide to the police, Beatrice produced a “suicide note” in which Abigail is said to have stated that a colleague and friend of Beatrice’s (Sophia) had accused her of stealing phone cards and a charger. The little girl went on in her note to state that her aunt had accused her of flirting, and most importantly, denied those claims.

    Perhaps I’m being picky, but shouldn’t the police when they investigated the scene, have discovered the note? What sort of detective work did they do? If you come across a suicide scene, isn’t the first thing you do after checking to see if there is any sign of a pulse to look for a note?

    I wonder who this little girl was. I may not have known her, but I wish I knew who she was and what happened to her. I think about whether or not she had NO ONE to talk to about the persecution she felt she was facing. I’m wondering how bad it had to be for her to decide to end it all. I’ve already given her a profile in my head. Most likely she is orphaned and living with the only relative who would have her. Or perhaps her parents are incapable of caring for her and chose to send her to stay with a better off relation, as is often the case here in Ghana.

    My question is, how did this child come to the conclusion that she could go to no one for help? Was there not a pastor she spoke to? A playmate? A concerned neighbour? If it was that bad, could she not have run away? Why did she feel there was nothing else out there for her?

    I wish someone could have saved her from her demons, real or imagined as they may be. I figure what disturbed me most was how in the “Weekend Mirror” an “observer” was quoted to have said that the girl killed herself to cover up her crimes. That person hinted that Abigail may have been pregnant and may have killed herself to avoid punishment. Grr. I sincerely doubt that anyone, choosing to end their life for a crime they committed, would choose to leave the sort of note Abigail did. Most likely, she would have apologised for her crimes in the note. It would take a truly bitter soul to leave a farewell note declaring themselves innocent of a crime they committed. Like, think of it. If you’re leaving the world anyway, why hide your sins? It doesn’t gel with me. This girl in whatever state she was in, still felt the need to declare her innocence. And goodbye she wrote out in capital letters? She made it very clear who it was she was running from. If she truly were pregnant, would she not have given some explanation on that? Perhaps an apology for killing her unborn child?

    So now, I feel terrible for her aunt, who most likely did not realise what was going on. Surely, she never meant to harm the girl. It’s quite probable that there were reasons for her to believe Abigail was headed for trouble and she acted the only way she knew how. How can this woman feel now, taking the blame for this tragedy?

    Whether she is responsible or not, I doubt there is any way that she will be able to get out of this without feeling guilty. Little Abigail did far more than take her own life. She marked at least one woman for life and most likely ruined their reputations. This woman will forever blame herself for not seeing this coming, for not dealing with the situation properly, for not listening…..you know us humans; even without the note, she’d make herself responsible.

    This raises a lot of issues about the way children are raised in this country. How much is too much chastising and ridiculing? When is it not okay to call a child up, sit them down and tell them to the face that their actions are wrong? When should you give up on correcting a child and guiding them on the right path?

    This is where counseling services would be helpful in Ghana. Sure, a person has committed suicide, but what of the people who are left behind, those that feel guilty? Who is to save them from sinking into the same states that their friends and loved ones were in?

    I feel that if we had better child services, if CHRAJ and WAJU and other social services were running properly in this country……would Abigail still be alive? I’m wondering how many more cases such as this will have to occur before something is done in this country and wish that people who have the Know How will step forward and DO SOMETHING about mental health issues in Ghana. At least our children should have one place they can go to when they feel oppressed and depressed.

    It’s bad enough when adults who should know better commit suicide but when our children turn to it? We should know by now that we have a problem and our Nations leaders should quit arguing about which members of parliament are homosexuals and actually get down to doing their work. People like Derrick Adjei, should be talking about ways to keep our youth from pulling stunts like this, not mouthing off about Akuffo Addos’s supposed diminutive stature. Just you wait! Your time in Daixy’s corner will come sooner than you think.

    ~Daixy~

    related posts:
    Daixy on Suicide Prevention day
    Daixy on Suicide Debunked
    Links within posts

    Happy Birthday Lil’ Miz Daixy…..

    Right. Getting down to brass tacks.
    Iz Mai Berfdai!!!
    I’m growing old. it’s as simple as that lol. For every year that’s tacked on, I’m reminded that I’m no longer nineteen. I was so happy at nineteen. As Ray Charles would say, “It was a very good year”. I had just started uni and discovered that once again, I was the “Americano in town” and I had the time of my life shocking people who would gossip in twi about me and the tomboyish way I dressed. It was, and still is wonderful to see their faces when I call up someone on the phone and start speaking fante LOL. Oooh and I discovered Asian Cooking back then and boy, did my kitchen smell good that year?!
    But I do realise that there’s much I appreciate in the years after that. I’ve done and learned a lot and most importantly, I’m on the road to self discovery and happiness. I’ve no doubt of that. Me and the boyfriend celebrated our one year anniversary 🙂 Oh and I picked up Guitar….I’ve gone back to the kitchen….and even better, I’ve made wonderful new friends who care enough to start calling before midnight to wish me a happy birthday lol. Thanks guys….Now I’m wide awake rofl.

    I didn’t know I’d make it this far and I have to thank God for getting me here. I’ve been wandering about blindly and yet I’ve not done half bad methinks. I guess the big wish for my candle this year is that I discover what it is I am meant to do. I know, I know, I’m always demanding something from you but you’re like, GOD! Who else am I going to make wild demands to? lol.

    I just wanna give a birthday holla @ the peeps who are blessed enough to share my special day:
    Fr. Edmund Neizer (formerly of St. Kizito’s Catholic Church)
    Mrs. Ewuley (Christ the King International School- She taught me in 4th year)
    Donald Griffith (Who probably doesn’t remember me ROFL)
    Barry White (I love you man! Your music will live on!!!!)
    Yao Ming (One of these days, me and you have to shack up. Dunno how I’ll explain the half co baby but I thank God for the Portuguese blood in my BF lol) {Did I mention my mom is fascinated by you? She says she won’t mind having you for a son in law)
    Jennifer Hudson (My voice is nowhere near as strong as yours is, but I can’t wait for the day me and you get to belt out a couple of songs @ the BET awards)
    Reuben Studdard (You’re a lucky man to share my spotlight lol and YES I’m that vain).
    September (I adore Cry For you!!! And I hate that you’ve chosen the stage name I woulda picked rofl)
    Paul Walker (I have to admit that you’re drool worthy. Not like Barry, but drool worthy nonetheless)
    So yeah, Happy birthday y’all and remember to have a good one. Barry, remember to put in a word for me to the Big Guy. Oh and see if he can’t make me 19 again? 😉 Oh and I hope you, Marvin, Teddy, Raye and Luther aren’t giving Michael a hard time. The six of you would be AMAZING together.
    So yeah, today, I’m gonna eat and drink enough for all of us (Fruit Juice). Umm..I figure I’ll drink 1/8th of what Yao would. He’s got a bigger tank than I do. Oh and this year I’m not gonna try to call him up so I can scream, “Yao! I want to have your giant babies!” I think I’ll send him an email instead 😉 Just in case Nanasei is reading this, NO, there will be no milkshakes. Just smoothies 😉 And pardon the randomness but did warn you (check out my profile and get used to it).
    Much Love,
    ~Daixy~
    PS. @ the boyfriend….Arigatou Gozaimashita mai koibito. Aishiteru!

    When life is just too hard to deal with: World Suicide Prevention Day

    Today is World Suicide Prevention Day and it’s got me thinking a lot about things I can do to make the situation better in Ghana.  Depression, Suicide and abuse are not treated properly in this country but at least we have CHRAJ and WAJU.  Depression and suicide and mental health issues are ignored in Ghana and I believe that’s a huge boo boo.  I don’t know why it is that we are so afraid of death.  It’s a subject most do not want to discuss and even more so when someone takes his/her own life.  But I think burying our heads in the sand won’t make the problem go away.

    Adults and children alike have been committing suicide in Ghana for several years.  Our poor record keeping though, means we don’t have actual figures.  Most info on suicide in Ghana comes from the sensationalist tabloids who aren’t given much credit for their newsworthiness.  We get stories like this one from time to time which shock us to the core momentarily and then we go about our daily business and forget all about the tragedy.

    According to this article, over 1500 people, most of them between the ages of 20 and 35, were reported to have committed suicide in 2008.  I checked the Annual report of the Ghana Health Service and this wasn’t mentioned. I truly wonder if these reported cases come from the Ghana Police Service or the Health service.  Where are these figures from?!!!  The 2009 Annual report doesn’t mention Mental Health at all.  In 2007 however, according to their annual report,only 3.6% of the budget allocated to the Ghana Health Service went to the Mental health Services.   3.6%?  Healthy Mind Healthy Body!!!!  I know we have major diseases to deal with like TB and Malaria and Lymphatic Filariasis but seriously…..3.6% explains why we have so few mental health centres and why they are understaffed.  Shame on you GHS.  You should know better.

    I have heard that KNUST has started a counseling centre to deal with these issues amongst its students. It’s a wonderful idea, what with the number of jumpers Tech has had over the years.  In searching for that, I discovered Lifeline Ghana.  I wonder if they’re fully operational and will be looking deeper into it.   They were kind enough to list their phone numbers so I will be giving them a call.


    I’d love to see Legon do the same thing Tech is rumoured to be doing, and eventually spread it out all over the country. Anyone interested in seeing that happen should holla @ me.  I’m ready to get stuck in but will need all the help I can get.  More people on board will give us a bigger voice.

    So um, Happy Suicide Prevention Day! 😀  Remember to hug your loved ones and tell them you care. And that loner of a coworker, maybe you should invite em out for a cup of coffee. I want to see us do this all day of the year.  This ain’t christmas to think about only on the D day 🙂

    Anywho, don’t forget to check out :

    WHO
    IASP
    WHO WSPD statement 2009

    ~Daixy~

    When life is just too hard to deal with: Myths debunked

    “Ghanaians don’t get depressed,”  This comment had me laughing early last week.  “it’s americans like you who flip out over everything.”   
    First of all, I am very much a Ghanaian.  I simply open myself up to other cultures 😛 
    Second, just cuz I’ve had a very interesting past and it’s scarred me a bit doesn’t mean I’m mentally unsound.  Why should it take a crazy person to think about steps to prevent suicide? I find it odd that the second I try to talk about rape, abuse, suicide or depression, it becomes a game of driving nails into dry concrete with me bare fingers!
    Third, dealing with my issues shouldn’t stop me from facing up to reality and saying, I want to do something about this.  Doesn’t have to stop me from starting whatever movement I want or lobbying my local MP or regional health director for infrastructure I believe should be in place. And now that that rant is over, I can get down to the business off the day.
    What I’d like to do today is debunk a few myths about self harm and suicide.  I can’t cover them all and I’m not going to explain what they are.  Links below should be sufficient methinks….
    Suicide rates per 100,000 peopleImage via Wikipedia 
    Myth:  Suicides don’t occur in Ghana.
    Fact:  Suicide occurs all over the world. In fact, it is the 10th leading cause of death globally. Over a million people commit suicide every year all over the world.  Sadly, no one seems to be collecting data on suicide in Ghana and most of Africa.  We do not as yet have the necessary systems in place for reporting and recording of suicide attempts and successes. The map above is as accurate as the WHO can make it.  Without actual data, there is nothing they or any other organisation can do.
    To save face, families in Ghana bribe police officers and medical practitioners into changing the cause of death.  This is most especially so when they are christian.  As such, the police and hospitals here very rarely report such cases.
    Myth: People hurt themselves or attempt suicide for attention.
    Fact: Au contraire. People who self harm are simply trying to feel, something anything. They usually are detached from this world and feel they are alone, unloved, repressed. Cutting, burning, they turn to pain as they cannot feel happiness, love. Other times, they are punishing themselves for some crime they perceive they committed.  A lot of people suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) will do this. Quite often they have suffered physical or sexual abuse and are unable to deal with the psychological fallout.  The result therefore is a need to externalize the pain, to “make it real.”
    Myth: People who talk about suicide are looking for attention.
    Fact: People who talk about suicide are reaching out for help. They’ve thought about it and are scared that they’ll actually go through with it.
    Myth:  If you’re depressed, just make yourself happy.  Snap out of it.
    Fact:  If it was that easy, your friend, family member, colleague wouldn’t have the cuts, burns and bruises they do, and most importantly?  They wouldn’t be thinking of ending it.
    Myth:  Suicide occurs without warming.

    Fact:  Usually, suicide victims will leave some sort of clue as to what they intend to do.  There is always some verbal or behavioural hint. Most often though, these clues are ignored or not taken seriously.

    Myth:  Asking someone if they are thinkingof suicide will plant the idea in their head.
    Fact: Talking about suicide will NOT give a person who is not considering it ideas.  If you feel the need to ask someone this question, then most likely they’ve left clues that led you to that conclusion.  Asking them will not make them go out and do it. A lot of suicidal persons will be relieved to have someone ask them about it.  It’s a huge burden to bear by oneself and someone who has been struggling with the urge and wants a friend to talk to will actually be grateful for the opportunity to share some of their fears.
    Myth:  Once a person has attempted suicide, he or she will never try it again.
    Fact: If your friend or loved one has made the attempt before, please keep an eye out, especially when they are under stressful conditions.  People who make attempts and fail are most likely  to come up with a different plan of action, with the sole aim of actually going through with it.  Perhaps the last time you were lucky enough to grab him before he ran under a bus.  Well next time, perhaps your friend would have researched on the number of pills he needs to swallow and would have made sure to lock his door.
    Please do not treat any threat of suicide lightly.  If you suspect someone of having suicidal thoughts, talk to them. Find out if they have a definite plan. Someone who has gone so far as to set out a plan (or several plans) has had a lot of time to prepare and could take action at any minute. Try to get them to talk about their problems and see if you can get them to go see a counselor. Look for signs of self harm. Usual suspects are long sleeves (even in hot weather) to hide ligatures on the arms and a reluctance to dress in shorts/skirts. When your friend, daughter, colleague suddenly changes their style of dressing to cover up, it’s usually a sure sign of distress.
    Sources and links:

    Self Harm
    Self harm on the BBC

    ~Daixy~

    When Life is too hard to deal with: To Write Love On Her Arms

    To Write Love On Her ArmsImage by ninniane via Flickr
    So, I was going to write one big piece for this week as suicide prevention day is coming up, but it just made me sad, depressed and frankly, I entered a dark place. I decided instead to provide links to info I think the world should read and give the little extra that I feel should be stressed on. Addiction, Depression, Self Harm and Suicide are topics that truly matter to me, right up there with abuse. I consider addiction, self harm and suicide to be abuse, not only of oneself, but of the people around you.   They do far more harm than we expect, scarring the lives of millions of people each year.
     
    To Write Love on Her ArmsImage via Wikipedia
    I want to introduce you guys to TWLOHA (To Write Love on Her Arms).  It’s a movement dedicated to the above.  TWLOHA has been raising awareness about addiction, depression, self harm and suicide since 2006.  They link people to hotlines and rehab centres close by and they offer real life stories from real life victims.  TWLOHA is all about showing people that they are not alone, that they are loved, and that life is so worth living right.  Feel free to visit their site and read their blog. The only problem I have with TWLOHA is that it’s transitioned from a movement into a fad.  Everyone is writing love, but not everyone knows why.  I think we should all know the reasons why we do what we do.  I missed TWLOHA day this year (was in febuary), I think the decision was made to randomise it so it’s not treated like christmas, where people think about it only at that time of the year.
    For those of you out there who are feeling lost and all alone, who think constantly of suicide, who hurt yourselves:  remember, don’t pick up that razor, don’t slice up that wrist.  Instead, write “Love” on your arms. 
    I write love on my arms.  Hopefully, you will too…..
    ~Daixy~

    Random event on the road in Accra……..

    Timeline: Yesterday

    Red, yellow and green (unlit) LEDs used in a t...Image via Wikipedia 

    Venue: 37 Military hospital traffic light.

    “That monster hates my guts!!” Always has! Like, this bad old monster waited till it was my turn to move through the stand-still traffic to turn it’s angry red glare on me!!!  (Like it always does!!!) Anywho, so I’m on my way to work and the light stops me, and there’s this trotro in the lane next to me who overshot the light by like a metre. I’ll tell you why I’m mentioning that in a minute.So I’m grumbling and cussing at the light when this guy comes up to my window and asks me to buy some of his grapes.  They are big and juicy looking but I’m not carrying any loose change and don’t feel like waiting for him to try and change a big note but I digress.

    This young grape seller (did I mention that he looked HAWT?  He shouldn’t be selling by the roadside)  he begins lambasting this woman in the backseat of the trotro.  Apparently she dropped a used “pure water” sachet out the window and into the street.  The woman ignores said young man and rolls her eyes.  The young man keeps complaining then bends over to pick up the bag.  It’s what he does next that’s got me grinning even now.  Just as the light turned green, he shoved the bag through the woman’s window and into the trotro!

    It is so refreshing to see that people still care about the environment.

    Or is it because the AMA holds the street hawkers to task when the area is filthy, hmm?  LOL

    ~Daixy~