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Month: February 2010

Dum birds……

Dealing with malaria, I don’t think I have to explain how annoyed I was at the taps being off. We haven’t had water for two weeks now and have depleted what was in our tanks.   Being sick is the only way that this little lady can get access to the family washing machine without trickery. So yeah, sick, in desperate need of clean clothes and there’s no water?!!

Having dragged my butt outside to stand in the sun from 7am to 11am (took that long cuz I kept having to go inside and rest a bit) I finally managed to wash three week’s worth of clothing. This time, I left NOTHING behind in my baskets. I single-handedly washed all my jeans, towels, bedsheets…. At the end of the day, I felt so proud of myself.

Now comes evening time when I go to take my things off the line. My screams of outrage brought my mother running to find out what was wrong.

Bird poo, shit, crap, doodoo!!!…. you can throw in whatever term you’d like.

Bottom line is,  some dum birds decided my clothes were a lovely public toilet.  I was suddenly faced with two choices. Find the offending creatures, get my dog to take a dump on them (see how they like it) and wash the shirts?; or find the offending creatures, get my dog to take a dump on them and BURN the shirts?  I have to admit that neither choices are possible, as I know I won’t ever find the filthy buggers.  I did wash the shirts though, as they’re my favourite work shirts but you should have seen the look on my mom’s face when I came out with gloves on and added disinfectant to the washing soap. Why on earth she thought I’d actually wash the goop with my bare hands is beyond me lol.

I think I’m going to start looking into the cost of a dryer simply because of the fact that if I EVER find poo on my clothes again, there’s gonna be an immediate decline in the bird population in my area and a sudden spike of roast pigeon to accompany the beer enjoyed during the football games.



Setting Myself Up for a HUGE Fall

So, yesterday was Ash Wednesday and though I couldn’t quite gather up the guts to go to church, I decided to give something up for lent.  After much careful deliberation, I thought to NOT get angry for the next six weeks.  Tough deal and definitely not going to happen.  So I decided to quit on the next thing that I do best…..COMPLAINING.  Yes, for the next 6 weeks, I will do my best not to complain about anything, be it the dirty plates my food is served in, or the taxi driver who crossed me illegally.  This may be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I can get angry but not complain?!!!!  Arghh!  I can feel a complaint coming up already…..

To make things even worse, to make up for all the years that I missed out on lent, I’ve decided to give up two things this year.  Anyone who knows me, knows by now that aside from geting angy and complaining, I have one vice that’s most annoying;  My use of the F word!  For six weeks, little miss potty mouth will not utter a single F#$%.  And to prevent me from cheating, I won’t be allowed to say my signature fudge, which I put in place of the F word when in polite company.  This should prove interesting.

Anyway, just wondering if you lot will be giving up anything for lent?  And if yes, what it’ll be?  Anyone doing multiple losses like me?  I think there’s a betting pool on how long I will be able to keep from saying the F word rofl.


Doped up…..

Body, heart and soul
Are what I gave to you
Pain and misery
Were what you thought my due

No candy for me this year
Nor bubbly chapagne too
You see, I can’t get rid of the bitter taste
Of the ones I got from you

Goodbye asshole!
With time, it’s thanking you I’ll do
You taught your lesson beautifully
And I must take my cue

When next I love,
I’ll be sure to show it all year through
And the one I’m with won’t need just one day
To say, “I Love You”!


I truly dislike Val’s day.  It’s because of the simple fact that people choose to hide their love until one time of year.  I’m the kind to love all year through and damn the consequences.  I don’t like christmas either.  I give gifts all year through as and when I like and I prefer to get things when I do not expect them.  Having been offered love on val’s day and then having it taken away the very next year, I’m disinclined to believe anyone who comes knocking this time of year.  Come back when you don’t have the whole world watcing and prodding and we’ll talk 😉

PS.  My sis thought I’d broken up with my boyfriend when she saw this.  For those of you who know us, PLEASE!  It’s a just a poem. 

Demolition Man: More Than Fiction?

Okay so, remember the movie “Demolition Man”?  You know, the one with Sly Stalone and Wesley Snipes?  Yes I agree the movie was wonderful and I enjoyed it still when I saw it last week on DSTV.  But I digress.  What I want you to recall from the movie is these little puppies.

picture source:
Anywho, for those of you still scratching their heads, I am referring to the “Vir-Sex”  devices in the movie.  You know, what they used to replace sex, as swapping of body fluids had been outlawed and unliscensed pregnancy was illegal?  Vir-sex removed all the awkwardness of dating and procreation. Why anyone would want to outlaw sex is beyond my comprehension but hey, it was a movie right?  No chance of that ever happening…..right?  I mean, right guys? 
Why has my mind gone to Vir-Sex, you ask?  Why because of THIS CNN article. Yes, for $7000 you can own your very own sex robot.  It comes with voice recognition and will speak to you about anything from golf to the war in Iraq.  And she’s good at faking it too.  Oh joy!  Funny thing is how the inventor insists he’s happily married and yet spent three years building a sex robot.  (I’m shaking my head right now)  People’s priorities are screwed.  We have war and famine to consider, diseases to control and eliminate, several issues pertaining to water and energy and yet people with technological know-how are concentrating on providing something a man can pick up in the red light district or sex shop.  Such a shame.
We live in a world where computers and the internet have taken over a lot of social niceties.  Children text their friends even when they’re sitting right next to them. Serial texters like Reina Hardesty, who confessed that she texted her girlfriends while sitting next to them at her own party, are too addicited to their gadgets and have little time for face to face conversations. Facebook and Twitter take so much of our time that we sometimes have to go cold turkey.  I went off facebook for two years and signed in again with a new account.  I very well may leave it soon because it’s too distracting. I digress once more….
I think it started with online dating which basically removed the social functions and now we’ve fallen even deeper down the rabbit hole.  Is it only a matter of time before we replace sex altogether? 
Perhaps I should holla @ Sandra Bullock and ask her where I can get one of those Vir-Sex things.  After all, in Demolition Man, “Bullock” (Lenina Huxley) tells “Stalone” (John Spartan) about the Arnold Schwarzenegger Presidential Library.  According to the movie, Arnie got so popular from his films that an amendment was passed so he could run for president.  Of course, Arnie won.  Funny thing is how Arnie is current Governor of California (true story!) and shortly after his election, three senators separately proposed amendments to the US Constitution to allow naturalized citizens to become president.
They foresaw his political ambitions so who’s to say they weren’t right about everything else? 😛
Three seashells anyone?  LOL



Yesterday I slept
It was a fitful sleep
I tossed and turned
Whimpered and yearned
For the moment I would wake


Yesterday I dreamed
I dreamed of you
I dreamed of me
We had made plans
Wanted a family

Yesterday you died
I am kneeling upon the freshly packed earth
Staring at the spot that will soon bear your marker
A tear makes its trail from the corner of my eye,
Down my nose and now, hangs precariously off the tip
It drops to the ground and…
Finally it hits me

YOU’RE down there
There’s no air
You can’t breathe!!!

My fingers scrabble at the earth
Hot liquid streams down my face as I call to you
My nails break but I feel nothing
I ignore the blood from the pads of my fingers
I must get to you!

My heart is hammering,
Loud in my ears
And now the soil is moist with my tears
Hands grab onto mine in an attempt to still them

A voice
Insistent in my ear
And yet I do not understand
They’re wrong
You’re not gone
You can’t be gone

The hands move up to my forearms,
Lifting me up
Pulling me away
“No!! He’s down there!!!”
My screams mingle with my words
My breath is laboured
My chest bursting with fear
(Fear of a life without you)
“He can’t breathe! Let him out!”

I feel myself being pulled down to the ground
(A life without your touch)
Arms wrap around me as I plead
(A life without your smell)
“You can’t leave him down there,”
(A life without your voice)
“He’s gonna die!!!”

The hands hold me tighter
The lack of response
The utter silence
The look in my companion’s eyes as I search them pleadingly…

My struggles cease
As,I finally realise
Yesterday you died…
And I died with you.
I found this when looking through my old stuff.  All I can say is WTF?!!  It’s so dark, so painful and yet I’m so proud of it.  It still feels unfinished even after tweaking it so many times.  Ah well, no work is ever truly complete methinks. Always room for improvement